I married a good girl…what happened?

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Everyone I see for premarital counseling is marrying a “good girl” (or “good boy”).  I’ve asked most of them if they want to pre-register for divorce counseling at a discounted rate.  No one ever takes me up on the offer.  If all of us are getting married to good people why do half of us end up divorced?  Is it just poor judgment?  We thought they were good people and they fooled us??  That is like saying half the people you know exercise horrible judgment when it comes to one of the top two or three decisions they make in life – are half of us really that dumb?  The truth is actually much more complex.  The people we marry are not as good as we think they are.  We are not either.  Marriage doesn’t create our problems, it exposes our problems.  If we let it, marriage can help us see that we aren’t good people.  It can show us exactly where we are selfish or unkind or prideful.  And once we are truly exposed, we can come to see the need we have for a grace bigger than the grace of a good girl or a good boy.  We need the grace of a good God.