A Man’s Take on a “Gentleman’s” Take

An article titled “A Gentleman’s Take On Why Women Should Never Settle For Less Than They Deserve” showed up in my Facebook feed today.  I don’t know what is more funny/sad; the article itself or the commentary it is accumulating.  Go read it for yourself ladies and see what it makes you feel.  Guys go and read it too and ask yourself if you downloadwant this man around your wife, sister, daughter, grandmother…any female you actually love and respect.  Does this sound like a gentleman?  The author obviously believes he is a gentleman, many of the commenters agree, both male and female, and over 27k people shared it so far.  Why is this getting so much traction?  This article’s take on women is so demeaning as to be a bad joke; a parody I’d expect out of Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake.  The author unknowingly illustrates his own point.  The reason so many women lower their standards is that the standard is so low that he can seriously pass off patronizing womanization as gentlemanly!

Earlier this week I wrote an article about the effect of more and more men using pornography.  Ultimately that effect is the objectification of women; reducing women to things rather than beings.  A Gentleman’s Take shows you the result of a porn saturated male mentality.  Not that the author himself is a porn user, I have no idea about that, but he writes from a culture where porn has dumbed down both men and women to the point where a man can assign himself not only the title of gentleman, but can purport to speak for all gentlemen on a web site that calls itself “The Voice of Generation Y,” in an article so silly, immature, and condescending as to be written by a horny 13 year old boy in any high school freshman english class.  The picture accompanying the article itself contains specifically pornographic elements intended to do what porn does; titillate and attract.  And the content reveals that gentlemen read poetry, roll their r’s, and like to get a few vodkas into a woman before they gently and oh-so-politely invite her into their bedroom (which is probably in his parent’s basement).  Evidently gentlemen are not very humble because other men are just “losers” who are “not worth the squeeze.”  The author ends by suggesting that women go out there and find a hopeless romantic (like him) because they are men not boys.

To the porn saturated mind, women are primarily objects of desire.  Men and women alike adjust to this reality.  Men maneuver to obtain the object and women maneuver to become more desirable.  Men who lack one tool to obtain their desired objects will find others.  The same with women.  The interplay between the sexes has always operated like this to one extent or another, but porn amplifies it by making sexual satisfaction of desire so readily images (1)obtainable that men can get whatever they want out of a digital woman without opening a door, buying a dinner, or meeting her mother.  Women are competing with cheap digital hookers for the attention of men.  This is how an article written by an obvious womanizer gets widespread acceptance.

How can we all, men and women, escape the lowering standards?  Go on a war against pornography?  Root it out of popular culture?  Men need to become men and women need to become women, not within the confines of a romantic relationship, but before the eyes of God.  Kierkegaard said there was only one “sin unto death” – one sin that would kill us as dead as dead can be – and that it was trying to become a self outside the presence of God.  Ladies, if you try to become your self merely in the presence of a man, even the best man, a true gentleman, you will never be all you were meant to be.  Your standard is too low.  Gentlemen, if you try to shape your self in a way that makes you acceptable to a woman, even the most lovely and worthy lady, you will not become all you were meant to be.  Your standard is too low.  God’s opinion of us is so high that every other opinion is not only a low opinion, it is a life-stealing opinion; it is death unless it is taken in relation to his opinion.  Don’t think so?  Try consoling your daughter when the boy she is dating decides someone else is better than she is.  Watch her wither.  What will you do for her?  Tell her another boy will come along?  His opinion will restore her to life?  For how long?  The best boy may grow into a man and give his whole life to her, but there is a helping-handsday coming when sweet lips cease to speak and a gentleman’s touch is cooled by death.  And that opinion is forever lost.  She must have a higher opinion and truer opinion, a permanent opinion.  There is only one man who gives this and gave it and promises to keep giving it.  The gospel is God’s opinion of us.  It is the promise not to hold us to a higher standard, but to lift us to an impossible standard.  This is the answer to our pornographically broken world; to accept his elevation.

“And now, with God’s help, I shall become myself.” – Soren Kierkegaard

Art is Because

Photo_101907_002As far as we know, humans are the only creatures on earth who create artifacts, meaning we are the makers of things that we then use to remake our environment.  We make tools.  Plows and trucks and ships and screwdrivers and saws.  But we are also makers of art.  This is a most interesting fact of our species.  We make useless things that we cherish and find wonderful.  Things like a chair covered in candy sprinkles with a shadow made of chocolate syrup.  Where is the evolutionary advantage in that?  Why does art exist in every place and time we find human beings?  In caves and in Shockoe Bottom.  In the remote and in the hip.  Art is there.  We make it because we are made.  We create out of our creation.  We can suppress the knowledge of God and we can deny him as the source, but the image of God cannot be contained.G40-Front

Freight Train

No one can bear the freight of another person’s soul. The best among us cannot create or sustain a full identity in anyone, not even the ones we love the most. The reason is simple: something of infinite value must also be infinitely heavy. Your soul, my soul, our souls, are imprinted with Glory – the fingerprint of God as it were. And even a single fingerprint of God weighs more than all the finite mountains and seas.


Need Special Needs

What does the existence of a special needs bus reveal about us?  A defective being in any other species on earth is not “special,” it is dead.  Humans are different.  We care for our broken ones.  We pour communal resources into preserving and improving quality of life for severely handicapped people.  What is the point?  How does this help ensure the survival and improvement of our race?  No doubt the socio-biologists have their answer to this through some high-diving backflip of an answer, but strictly speaking in terms of the core teaching of survival of the fittest embedded in accepted scientific theory, it makes no sense to expend energy on members of the group who will never contribute to meeting its needs.  Believing something other than that takes more than straight scientific reason.  It takes faith to believe that some twist in biology makes us care for broken human beings.  Faith.  SInce we’re talking about faith to explain this, why not put a competing idea that requires faith on the table?  What if we care for every human being because it has inherent value by virtue of being human?  What if we are made in the image of God?  And what if, and this is the core of the matter, what if we take care of the severely broken because we recognize that each one of us is in fact broken too?