Healing: How to Keep Going

So far in this series of articles about chronic, untreatable or barely treatable depression and anxiety, I’ve spoken in terms of things anyone can understand and apply. In the remaining articles I’m going to shift more to my specific journey and how I found help. The funny thing is I believe many of the articles I’m going to write will involve habits and/or methods you can apply outside the framework I’m going to suggest and you will find relief. I recently had a talk with a friend who was finding relief with a therapy that has many of the elements that work for me and has no connection to what I’m about to share with you. It was interesting comparing notes with her and realizing that someone developed a therapy that I had discovered on my own. Well, not exactly on my own – but I will get into that shortly. I believe the question is one of sustainability. I’m sure if you’re reading these articles and you or someone you love suffers from TRD you aren’t just interested in getting relief, you’re interested in a sustained relief – a lasting solution. This was one of the main reasons I wanted off the pharmaceutical Mary-go-round; it was so obviously unsustainable.

If you’re brave enough to read these articles and start applying these things to get free, I’m sure it has taken a lot of effort. I also know that we people with TRD don’t have a lot of energy or hope. Even if we see a little progress, we can easily lose steam. Discipline is not our strong suit, not because we are lazy or weak, but because the nature of TRD is to steal hope, and whether you know it on a conscious level or not, hope is the essential core of motivation. In order to get well and stay well, I believe we need continuous help, motivation, and discipline that are not coming from our broken cisterns. We need more than a blueprint, we need a builder. We need a person to take us along, not a plan we have to follow on our own. We need someone with us all the time, someone who is able to know us intimately and lead us confidently. We need a spirit guide.

I’ve tried to do some research into the topic of spirit guides. It’s messy and I’m not sure I’ve got enough of a grip on it to say too much other than the idea has existed a long time across diverse cultures. Native American totems may represent animal spirit guides and shamanism seems to be the search to find spirits that can either guide or be guided to help us. Modern religious movements are fascinated with connecting to a spirit world to guide us in the physical world. I guess the extreme end of the concept of spirit guides would be those who explore spirit possession. This makes sense to me, especially if we are struggling with TRD.

Imagine you’re out golfing and you hit your ball into an impossible spot in the rough, behind a tree a long way from the hole. What are your options? You could just quit and give up. You could cheat and kick the ball to a better spot. You could walk up to the ball and rehearse in your mind the shots you’ve seen great golfers like Phil Michelson or Tiger Woods hit and try to copy them. Wouldn’t the best of all be this: what if you could be possessed by the spirit of Phil or Tiger right when you needed to hit the shot? All their confidence and skill and muscle memory and experience could be yours. If you really needed to hit that shot, and you couldn’t cheat or quit, spirit possession would be a wonderful option, wouldn’t it?

But it does sound weird. Spirit possession. And what happens after the golf game is done? I’m not sure I want the spirit of Tiger or Phil hanging around. Maybe it wouldn’t be very nice to have them in there all the time. Their spirit might make me do weird stuff. And what’s this got to do with depression and anxiety any way? I said in a previous article (Healing) that if you’ve ever felt bad enough for long, enough you’d be open to trying anything if you thought it would make you feel better. What about spirit possession? Would you try it? If you have severe depression and anxiety it’s likely you’ve already tried chemical possession. Pharmaceuticals help some people. We can talk about those things, but what if they don’t work for you? And what if the spirit of Prozac turns you into a person you don’t like? If it costs you your personality it isn’t really a cure. And nobody wants to lose themselves to depression or to its cure. We just want to be ourselves. We want to be present in our present without all the pain.

If I told you you could be possessed by a spirit that would help you get well; would walk you through the pain; would keep you being you, and was expert at living the life we all want to live, would that interest you? What would it cost? What’s the catch?

I told you healing is possible. Here is how I’m finding my way out of TRD; how I’m finding these steps and methods I’m writing about. I found a person to help me. As I said, we don’t need a plan to get better, we need a person to take us to healing. A person, not a plan. And the person needs to be with us all the time because depression and anxiety don’t take coffee breaks. The person needs to be inside of us because the problem is there. The person needs to be real, trustworthy, and separate from us because we need a voice to lead us that we know isn’t us – if we could direct ourselves we would have done it long ago. We need a personal spirit possession.

You see it coming. Here’s where the guy tries to convert me to Christianity. Yes and no. If by “convert” you mean I am suggesting that you say a prayer and read a book and go to meetings and stop doing bad things and do good things, then, no. That’s not what I’m suggesting. I’m suggesting that you should invite a spirit to possess you. This is actually what Christianity is. It isn’t a book or a church or a code of behavior. Christianity is an invitation to spirit possession. If you are skeptical about this it’s probably because you’ve accepted a form of Christianity that leaves out the essence of what Christianity is. You’ve been told about the church or maybe you’ve already tried the version I call the Father, Son, and Holy Bible version of Christianity. But I want to tell you about the version that Bible actually explains. It is good news for people like me who are helpless and hopeless. Those other versions of Christianity leave all the work at my feet. All the discipline, all the change, all the obedience lands on my back. Sure they talk about getting me out of hell when I die (and nobody I’ve ever talked to wants any part of hell, even atheist friends would rather not go there) but I’m in hell now and I can’t get out. If it all depends on me I’m lost and I’m lost. That’s not the good news I’m supposed to find in the Bible – not the “gospel” they claim we all need. But there really is good news if we just read it for ourselves.

Here is the good news the Bible actually lays out as simply as I can put it: God wants to be our friend. He wants to be in a relationship with us. Anyone in a relationship knows that someone is going to make a mistake and that is going to mean one of two things: either forgive the offense or end the relationship. The difference in having a relationship with God is that He isn’t going to be the one who makes a mistake, we are. He has a plan to forgive every offense so we can always keep our relationship with Him without worrying about it. That’s what Jesus dying on the cross is about: total forgiveness forever. He does all the heavy lifting. Just like any relationship we are free to accept His friendship and His forgiveness; our choice. We can’t have a relationship with anyone without making the same choices. This is all good news but it gets even better. Jesus told people that if they decided to accept God’s friendship, they could receive a gift and that gift would be a person named the Holy Spirit or the Spirit of Christ. He said this person would be our helper, counselor, and comforter. Jesus actually taught spirit possession.

This may sound intimidating. What would it be like to be possessed by a Holy Spirit? If you’re like me you’ve heard of and seen some really weird things that are associated with being “filled” with the Holy Spirit. I’m not going to go into that. I think it’s a good idea to question allowing ourselves to be possessed by any spirit. And when you think about it clearly, no spirit has more potential to mess up your life than the spirit of an all powerful God. All I can say is that we don’t have to guess what it would look like to be possessed by this Spirit if we just read the accounts of Jesus’s life. This is what it looks like. It – He – is the Spirit of Christ and He will lead us to live the life described in those accounts. It isn’t a weird life. It’s a life full of friends and work and parties and peace. It is a life of rest and a life that endures suffering, questioning, and fear and never loses hope or gets cynical. It is not an anxious or depressed life. Even people who don’t believe Jesus had anything divine in Him admire the life He lived. It is a loving life and a full life even though it wasn’t long. Would you like to sleep in a storm? How about having answers for people who hate you and try to trip you up? What about a life that is able to forgive quickly and laugh easily? A life that overcomes prejudice and welcomes any kind of person with easy hospitality? Even a life, if you can accept it, that brings miracles to hurting people? And all of this can be ours. We can have the Spirit of Jesus in us.

Questions? Won’t it mean that I’m no longer me if I’m possessed by the Holy Spirit? Won’t He boss me around and mess up my plans and replace my desires? The answer to this question is pretty simple. God wants friends, not robots. He wants love, not slaves. Religions are about obedience and control, usually by a group of religious “insiders” who have it all figured out and use their inside knowledge to manipulate us. But you see the gospel makes everyone an insider. Everyone gets the full benefit of friendship with God. This flips obedience on its head. When we get the Holy Spirit we get the ability to hear God for ourselves – from the inside out. We don’t obey our friend’s wishes to make them our friends, we do it because we love them and we love what they love. Obedience to God is actually just God helping us to do the things that will make us happy. He made us and the world and He is deadly serious about us enjoying it all.

The Holy Spirit is gentle like Jesus – same life – look at how Jesus talked with people who were not getting it right. Did He come off like a jerk? Or a patient friend leading people into the good path? And even when He got right with people wasn’t it loving? I can’t imagine a true friend who won’t or can’t set me straight when I need it. I believe the whole point of the Holy Spirit coming and being inside of us is to help us become us. After all “holy“ is just another word for “complete” or “whole” or “healthy.” And isn’t that what we are trying to do? Isn’t depression an interruption and a distraction from being us? Being whole?

This has been a long article. I hope you’ll let this idea sink in and ask God to be your friend – accept His friendship and His gift of, well, His gift of Himself in the form of His Holy Spirit. I’m going to write from here on as a person possessed by this Spirit who is guiding me and helping me. He deserves all the credit so I’m going to give it to Him. I believe the articles that follow will be helpful but I’m not sure many of us can keep it going without the kind of help I’m suggesting here. As always, healing is possible and available for you. If I can help please don’t hesitate to ask.

The Americans & How to Stop Being Fearful

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Elizabeth: “You know what I wish, as I fall asleep every night?  That I’ll wake up and not be worried.”
Phillip: “About what?”
Elizabeth: “Everything.”
Phillip: “You can’t live like that.”
Elizabeth: “Show me another way.”
from The Americans – conversation between two deep cover KGB spies living double lives in America.

Most of us aren’t living double lives like the spies in The Americans.  Well, at least we aren’t doing it on purpose.  But we do worry a lot.  The spies are worried about getting caught; getting exposed for being something they are not.  They are always looking at download (2)every person and every situation from a posture of threatening their existence.  We are worried about…about what?  What are you afraid of?  The money running out?  The kids going off the rails?  Your health going down the drain?  We look at things threatening us too.  What if the economy tears away our livelihood or age or disease steals our health or bad people turn our children into bad people?  How will we survive if that happens??  Spies develop elaborate cover stories and engage in activities intended to keep their secrets safe. In The Americans the two main spies have gone so far as to have two children together to make their fake marriage appear real.  The children don’t even know they are pawns in international espionage.  We have our own cover stories though.  We build elaborate defenses to keep us safe and happy.  We build financial walls.  We pursue education or skills we think will keep us valuable.  Some of us do have children because we want to feel our lives are meaningful.  The thing you fear the worst will be very close to the thing you believe you can’t live without.  And you may go to bed worrying about it on a regular basis.

Worry is strangling in slow motion.  Worry will not make you better at your job.  Fear will not improve your parenting skills or make you a better lover.  It will choke friendships and marriages and keep families from fulfilling their highest goals.  It will chain you to places and jobs and people you should leave behind.  Fear needs to be ruthlessly eliminated from our lives if we are going to live well.

There is only one solution for getting rid of worry and fear, and it is counterintuitive.  The way to defeat our fear is to embrace a higher fear; we must have a huge fear to defeat our little fears.  The Bible teaches this.  Our fear of everything else is supposed to be swallowed up in the fear of God.  We are not supposed to deny the fears one by one.  They exist.  They are real.  Some of our worst fears are going to come true.  We don’t deny these things; we deflect them with our fear of God.  How does this work?  What is fear?  It is a focus uponscreen-shot-2016-12-03-at-11-11-42-am some object.  It is something we must reflect upon in relation to our lives.  If you are afraid of clowns and I tell you there is a clown in your living room, what are you going to do?  Stay away from the living room!  You’ll go out of your way to avoid that room.  Fear is a reference point.  Remember what I said about the spies – everything in every situation had to be looked at in relation to their lies and blowing their cover.  A new man in the corner cafe reading a newspaper could be the FBI or the CIA staking them out.  No rest for them, ever.  If you keep your reference point on your bank account, your marriage, or your children, you will be afraid for those things all the time.  If you move your reference point to God, you have only him to fear.  What is higher than God?

OK – I admit there is a hole in this method of getting rid of fear.  If we move our reference point onto God, we also have moved our fear to the person with the greatest potential to destroy our lives.  No one has more knowledge or power than God.  No one could do more damage.  Not only that, how do we know what our relationship is with God?  If we are going to reposition everything relative to God, we have to know how that works.  How do we know what He thinks of us?  How do we know its safe?  How do we know that fearing God is any different than fearing anything else?  Because of the gospel, we can answer those questions.  In the gospel fear is actually turned inside out.  Whereas all the other fears (reference points) cause us to build defenses in order to keep the fearful things away, the fear of God lets us take down all the walls.  Why?  Because the One who had all the knowledge and all the power took all his knowledge and all his power and bent it down to help us, not to destroy us or condemn us.  This is the Christian gospel – the good news – and it is either true or it is not.  If God did what the Bible says he did for us, we can be sure that none of the things we fear outside of him are fatal to us.  Paul sums it up in his letter to the Roman Christians: if God is for us, who can be against us?

So I will show you another way.  Believe the gospel.  Believe God was and is willing to give up everything to have a relationship with you that is based on love not effort.  This is what Christians call being “saved” or being “born again.”  Either way, it is a completely different way to live that deals with our fears without denying or suppressing them.

The Gospel and the Police State

“We have to remind ourselves – just because we can do something doesn’t mean we should do it.” – Philadelphia Chief of Police

If we become a fear based culture, anything done in the name of keeping us “safe” will be impossible to argue against.  It is not the libertarian cry of “losing our freedoms” that should motivate the Christian living in a progressively intrusive state – the Christian should be motivated by rejecting fear as a motive for their actions.  Those who believe the gospel should not be persuaded to act based upon fear-mongering.  This includes the way we raise our children in our homes and the way we vote in the voter’s booth.

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