Talking About The Trash

27garbage_600Most couples I see for marriage counseling stopped talking about their relationship long ago.  There was a time when we first met that we stayed up all night long exploring our ideas, our pasts, our dreams.  We wrote them and spoke them and pondered them when we weren’t together.  If we don’t put forth an effort to keep talking like this, it won’t be long before we only talk logistics.  Who is picking up dinner or the kids?  How much money is in the bank?  What time is the meeting?  Who is taking out the trash.  Years of neglecting our heart talk in favor of logistics means the old pathways are harder to find.  They are awkward to reopen.  They become foreign.  Getting back to real things takes time and trust, and many times it takes community.  People who help us hear each other again.  People who remind us of what we were and show us how we can be again.