This is Gonna Leave a Mark: The Hookup Culture

Screen-Shot-2013-07-14-at-9.28.27-PM-e1373851764641What is the “hookup culture”?  It is not, as some might say, the liberation of women’s sexuality as much as it is women losing control over their sexual choices.  Does that sound absurd?  Every psychological measure tells us that when women use sex the same way men traditionally use it (low intimacy – low commitment – pleasure only) it leads to poorer long term emotional states for them.  Sex in any context is the mantra of post modern America and has been for a generation; long enough for the shine to come off the apple and for people to stop claiming that women only feel bad about their sexual activities because of social stigma.  There is no social stigma.  The problem is that men and women really are different and experience sex from completely different perspectives.  Pornography has driven the cost of sexual experiences down to little or nothing for men who use it regularly (and the majority of college aged men do use it regularly).  Real women are messy and expensive and, because of the proliferation of high speed digital porn, no longer necessary for men’s sexual satisfaction.  Women who want any relationship with men are up against porn stars who perform on demand and look perfect all the time.  Men’s sexual appetites and expectations are warped and their patience is thin.  Women who don’t conform to these sexual expectations are discarded.  The belief that everyone is having fun and it all doesn’t matter unless you let it matter is a lie that eventually wears thin for both men and women.

Watch this video of college aged men and women talking about the hook up culture and you will see evidence of sexual deception throughout.  Watch what the one man says about who he wants a long term relationship with in the end.  Watch the one woman tell us that she wants her daughter to know she is worth more than rubies so she can navigate this sexually liberated sea of confusion.  Watch it till the end of their segment and see the answer to the million dollar question: Do you want to have a life long committed relationship in marriage?

Someone should write a book to help these people…

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